The Final Frontier

Posted by jennifer on March 14, 2008 in At Home.

I wanted to write a blog tonight like I’ve never written before. I kept going over what I would say as I passed the produce section at Target. So many thoughts ran through my head but how could I convey the feeling of watching my dog’s health slip through my fingers like quick sand? How could I express all the memories that pass through my mind like a slide show? I feel helpless right now. Almost like a person that just lost their sight. I can’t see my way out of this no matter how hard I look- there’s nothing I can do. The answers just are not there. I’m fighting an uphill battle and I’m slipping swiftly down mud. My dog Dylan is 10 and a half years old. He is my heart and my soul and a part of who I am as a person. Recently after my trip to Los Angeles, I came home to see that his health had rapidly decreased. I’ve been through this before- all the signs are there. Frequent trips to the vet, blood in his urine, straining to use the bathroom, hips are almost gone and arthritus painfully striking his every move in his back. His teeth are worn down from the bite work he loved to do most of his life but he looks like a strong, handsome old boy from all those days on the Schutzhund fields- like an Olympic Athlete in his geriatric days. I know it’s time. I know what’s happening- everything is shutting down. The whinning and feeling uncomfortable when he lays down, pacing to look for a spot and getting up again and again. I spent an hour laying in his dog bed last night just petting him until he fell asleep. I called my Mom for a second opinion but I know in my gut what I have to do.
My boy Dylan has reached for every last day he could spend with me. The sweet brown soulful eyes still reach out to invite me into his heart. He is and will always be my dog that never leaves my side. He is a dog that loves children and gets along with everyone and his best friend at one time was a horse. My duty right now is to act like nothing’s wrong, keep him comfortable and send him off to sleep where he can run and play with dogs in the mountains of heaven and look down on me here on earth. This blog is for you old man- you’ve made me proud, you’ve made me strong and you made me into a better person then before you ever entered my life. I love you with all my heart, Jennifer
Dylan.JPG

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